Sunday, November 6, 2016

A Witch Hunt for Silver Linings

At this point (Sunday, November 06, 2016), just a few minutes after FBI Director James B Comey has announced that he’s standing by his original decision not to recommend charges against Hillary Clinton, despite various revelations of additional crimes she’s committed found on Anythony Weiner’s device, I’m forced to make the following assumption, and then search for a possible silver lining (because I’m such a freakin’ sunny optimist all the time).


Comey is aware of the facts on the ground. He knows politics is a blood sport and the Democrats play dirty. He knows they’ve had people killed, and have had those deaths ruled “suicides” before. Vince Foster’s “two bullets that didn’t fit his gun, and without his fingerprints on his gun” suicide is just one of the older examples. So Comey would be an IDIOT to not be concerned. And the record shows that he’s not an idiot.

I’m going to assume that Comey is also aware of this thing we writers often call “Plot Armor”.  Granted that life does not typically follow Platonic dramatic structure, but it could be argued more or less that elections kinda DO.  And we’re building to the dramatic climax right now.  Plot Armor protects your protagonist(s), and those key players like Comey who are required to move the plot forward, from suddenly exiting this mortal coil before their role is finished. I believe at this point that not only is Comey’s continued existence a form of life insurance for Hillary, but also vice-versa.  They have a “mutually assured destruction” relationship, I’m guessing.  She knows she can’t take him out without being essentially the sole suspect. He knows that destroying any chance of her becoming President would simply be a complicated form of suicide. So they’re at a stalemate, and they’re BOTH probably quite angry at Weiner.  The sub-plot of what to do about all the people who have turned “state’s evidence” against her, about the fomenting rebellion within his own FBI ranks, and about the very real and obvious crime of Hillary having her maid print out numerous classified emails, has yet to be written.

So I’m sticking with the easy, high-level assumption that Comey actually ISN’T basing his latest statement on an honest review of the evidence, nor that such a review has led him to continue to believe that “no reasonable prosecutor would bring charges”. We can safely assume that’s false for at least two reasons. 

  1. Despite his own lawyerly background, Comey doesn’t speak for our government’s prosecutors.  He can’t. That’s the DOJ’s role. Stop laughing. Yes, I know the DOJ is as corrupt as the millennia is long, but that’s not Comey’s doing.  But he’s speaking out of school, and thus his STATED JUSTIFICATION is not to be trusted.
  2. And seriously now, “no reasonable prosecutor”? Really? Despite the fact that since the moment he uttered those words we’ve had reasonable prosecutors across the land essentially raise their hands and say “I would”, it’s easier to prove the falsehood of almost any such sweeping statement by considering a “pizza scenario”, and NO – I’m not making an allusion to the very real and unresolved issue of whether or not the Clintons were involved in pedophile and human trafficking rings, which apparently use “pizza” terms as code words for underage female sex slaves. No, I mean actual pizza here.  I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that the statement “no reasonable prosecutor…” is false, because I believe it highly unlikely you could get even a dozen reasonable prosecutors to agree on PIZZA TOPPINGS, much less getting ALL OF THEM in the United States of America agree that there was no solid case against Hillary. Since it doesn’t pass the “unanimous pizza topping agreement test” I feel I can safely assume its validity is zilch, just like I’m equally confident that Comey doesn’t want to die as a result of this case. I blame him, but I can’t blame him, if you get my drift.

Possible Silver Lining:

Look I realize this can only be a stretch, but I’ve got to at least attempt to find some sort of silver lining in today’s announcement.  And I’m going to do this by looking at what I believe could have been a very likely outcome had Comey announced the opposite.  

Scenario: Comey comes out and says that based on the additional information they’ve discovered, he and his staff are convinced they have numerous air-tight felony cases against Hillary, that the evidence in their possession is overwhelming, and that they not only “recommend” the DOJ proceed with prosecution, but they flat-out demand it, and have even gone so far as to wargame alternatives should the DOJ continue to fail in its legal duties by acting as Hillary’s personal “above the law” guarantor.

Possible likely outcome:

Obama is presented with only a few options, some of which are not Constitutionally legal, but he doesn’t care.  He can let the election proceed and let the chads fall where they may, OR he can:

  1. Cancel the election, by Executive Order. No, I don’t believe he can legally do this, but who is going to stop him?  I see this as FAR more likely than simply handing the election to Trump.
  2. Civil War May Start. In reaction to this coup, a significant portion of Trump’s supporters openly rebel. Whether or not this is the start of the next Civil War depends on the result of this quasi-mathematical formula: (How widespread is the violence) x (From which news organization do you get most of your news) / (Has the government declared martial law? 0=No, 1=Yes).  So long as the answer is “undefined” (because you can’t divide by zero), then it will remain impossible to really say if civil war has broken out. But the moment martial law is declared then yes, it really has.
  3. Trump is arrested for Treason.  Please note: It doesn’t matter one bit what Trump has actually done from the election up to this point.  Whether he’s out in front of the rebellion, out in front trying to STOP the rebellion, or sitting at home quietly not drinking whisky because he doesn’t drink – all immaterial. Contrary to the opinion held by many of us on the Right, Obama’s actually NOT an idiot.  He’ll know he has to move against Trump immediately, which is why when he signed the order cancelling the election, his pen had barely lifted from the final “a” in his signature before coming back down to start another initial “B” on the order for Trump’s arrest.
  4. Obama Wins.

So as unlikely as the above scenario is (?), there is at least a small chance FBI Director James B Comey has spared our country a devastating civil war AND an Obama coup simply by gritting his teeth and lying “Nah, we got nuthin’” today, with the added benefit being that he personally also gets to continue breathing.

So things continue as they were. 

Carry on. The election’s not over. 

Get out there and vote!


Argue with me on Twitter @SantasTavern.

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