Monday, December 31, 2012

The Hillary Shell Game

Has anyone seen the Secretary of State? She's, like, missing or something. She was supposed to answer questions in a hearing about Benghazi, but then she just disappeared.

Well, it turns out that she suddenly feinted fainted one day and got herself a lame excuse concussion which means she can't go in front of Congress and talk about stuff. I can see maybe fainting if you were told you had to go in front of Congress and answer some pretty tough questions. So they gave her some time to heal up a bit.

Well, so a concussion isn't a big deal really and after a couple days you should be right as rain, right? And of course the Senate is all like "Ok, time to come talk to us Hillary". But all of a sudden, when she went to go have her doctor give her a final check up, they found a better made up excuse blood clot!!!

Those are pretty dangerous, so they have her on strawberry daquaris blood thinners and resting in Barbados at home in New York. Guess we'll have to wait until next year for Hillary to answer questions. Unless they can find something else to keep her unable to make the trip. Maybe she needs to have a "minor stroke", or even "temporary insanity".

Yeah, that's a good one. The administration ought to try that one out. They can claim that the mysterious "blood clot" got to her brain and caused some temporary minor damage that made her crazy for a while. You know, just long enough to get a new Secretary of State installed. And then, when she gets "all better", she can claim that her memory of the past 6 months or something is gone, like amnesia on a soap opera, so she'll never have to answer any questions about Benghazi.

She can be like "Benghazi? What's that? Is that some kind of Indian food?" And then, later on when they want her to run for president, they can get some guys in lab coats (they don't even have to be actual doctors) to say that not only is she completely healed from her fainting-concussion-blood clot-insanity, but that her brain "extra" healed and she is now the smartest person in politics with an IQ of, like, 110 or something, which is pretty high for a politician.

This is really brilliant. I should be appointed Obama's new Spin Czar.

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