Thursday, July 11, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Gov't Prefer$ Fixer-Upper$

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The World’s Largest Private Yacht Was Launched. You Can Tell It Wasn’t Government Funded Because…

#5 jw:…it’s being audited.

#4 Denise: ...because it’s actually making headway, not running in circles or full reverse.

#3 Apostic : …pirates attempting to come aboard are not granted automatic amnesty.

#2 blarg …it’s not solar or wind powered.  [reminds me of Keln's brilliant post Obama's Navy]

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Dohtimes: 

The World’s Largest Private Yacht Was Launched. You Can Tell It Wasn’t Government Funded Because……our govt. would have spent twice as much refurbishing an outdated rusted out hulk that had been mothballed for decades. And after fixing up Nancy Pelosi they would have wasted more money on the yacht.

Note: Kiss up cookies to Bob B for his line "cookies!!!" which doesn't make any sense, but makes me smile anyway. :P

Cookies to Dohtimes and Bob B!
I'm still out an oven, so if you're wondering where these wonderful cookies came from... 


Keln still has me working here at NP even though he's mad at me and keeping me in the dungeon. I think that should be in violation of some law or other...The dungeon could really use some cheerful window treatments. And also a window would be good. Just sayin. Anyhow, if any of you have any suggestions on how to escape...???


My favorite NP punchlines:

Who would Obama have cast as The Lone Ranger and Tonto?

#3 Bob in Feenicks :...The Rogue IRS agent that targeted TEA partiers as the Lone Ranger, Joe Biden is Tonto -muy tonto- and finally, John Kerry as Silver.

#2 can of spam: ... whomever Valerie Jarrett tells him to.

My favorite line was from Oppo:

Who would Obama have cast as The Lone Ranger and Tonto? 
John Kerry: "Hi-Ho, Silver Spoon!" 
The Blind Sheik: "Yes, Gitmo-sobby."

Cookies to Oppo!

You can share with me, Bob B and Dohtimes.  They're yummy :)


Here's a new line for you to try:

Anonymiss's brilliant scheme to escape from her ovenless dungeon...


  1. Involves two lab mice and a plot to take over the world:

  2. a grail-shaped beacon.

    1. After which, she receives a spanking and ???

  3. ... somehow involves no-bake cookies.

  4. ... is to answer "freedom" when the night guard comes around with a clipboard asking "Continued confinement or freedom?"

  5. ... is to say, "Gee, Keln, sorry about all that extra work you're going to have to take on, judging contests and what not . . . "

  6. ...consists of one word:


  7. ...does not include listening to Frank Zappa's song, The Torture Never Stops as a way to get Keln to feel sorry for her plight because it would really just cheer him up.

    (DamnCat always goes to the Flying Saucer Of Milk Escape Plan because he's happy even when it doesn't work).