Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - I Know What it Doesn't Include

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Hillary Clinton Told a Heckler “The Future Doesn’t Include Yelling”. What DOES It Include?

#5 Conservatarian.:…cackling and contempt.

#4 Jimmy:  …a future where her enemies are “dead to her.” Interesting, how that works.

#3 Smilin' Jack: Silence! I kill you!

#2 NoMoBama:  Hiding. If you yell, you give away your position.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from c64wood:

Hillary Clinton Told a Heckler “The Future Doesn’t Include Yelling”. What DOES It Include? If the future doesn’t include yelling, then it won’t include Hillary. [I'm liking this idea more and more :) ]

 Cookies to c64wood!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam, and TerribleTroy:

Hillary Clinton Told a Heckler “The Future Doesn’t Include Yelling”. What DOES It Include?

can of spam: ...I have no idea what the future includes, but if cookies aren’t a part of it, then I don’t wanna live through it.

TerribleTroyCOOKIE CRAVING ZOMBIES that hog all the cookies.

Kiss up cookies to can of spam
and TerribleTroy!

My favorite line from yesterday was from HokieGomer:

States may require black boxes in cars that tally the miles driven and tax you accordingly. The boxes also...automatically cancel your Obamacare coverage the microsecond before a crash, assuming you are the fortunate few that got coverage.

Cookies to HokieGomer!

Here's a new line for you to try:

When he heard the number of people receiving Food Stamps doubled over the last decade, increasing even when the economy was growing, Obama...


  1. ...doubled over with laughter...

    ...sacrificed a goat to Saul Alinsky on his personal altar.

    ...declared "The Hunger Games are at hand".

  2. ...celebrated by going on the Ellen DeGeneres Show and happy-dancing to "My EBT":


  3. ... steepled his fingers together and cackled, "excellent, Smithers!"

  4. decided to double his number of golf rounds

  5. ... expressed disappointment that "dog food" wasn't quite what it sounded like.

  6. Said, "They are my people! I am their sovereign! I LOVE Them. Pull! (shoots EBT user flung into air) Drifting to the left..."

  7. Thanked Allah. Then thanked Bill Ayers - then Rev. Wright - then the Muslim Brotherhood..........

  8. ...had a banner commissioned and hung over the USDA saying "Mission Accomplished...But we can still do better!"

  9. ...failed to see any irony in his statement about being so laser focused on obesity that he was only laser focused on hunger on Mondays.

  10. Wondered how come his efforts were proceeding so slowly, then ordered the working stiffs to work harder to get more people on welfare.

  11. ...explained to Biden it has nothing to do with people mailing food.