Great Tunes:What Makes You Beautiful -One Direction

Okay, so not really a great tune, but a tune nonetheless. Obviously this one isn't in my permanent playlist (or any of my playlists, for that matter), but I heard the song for the first time from someone who didn't realize it described them perfectly, and I realized that with a few warps and twists, it could describe Hillary! perfectly. So, though it calls to mind people and events best forgotten, I decided to take one for the team and claw the lyrics into something more amusing, for your edification and enjoyment.

What Makes You Horrible

You're a drunken wreck,
Corrupt as heck.
You're churning guts when you 're talkin' your dreck.
When you screw up
You cover up
You think the gender you are is enough.

Great Tunes - You Shook Me All Night Long - ACDC

Lets face it: There is no possible way to hate this song. No matter how many times or how often you hear it, it's always got to bring a smile to your face, and an air guitar to your hands. Back in the days when I could actually hit a high note or two, this was one of my favorite karaoke songs. Anyway, I got to thinking: If Obama were to sing this song for karaoke, how would he do it? (Why I was thinking this isn't important right now.) I thought he would probably do it in a smarmy lounge style, like Richard Cheese, the title would have to be changed to something like I Shook You All Term Long, and the words would have to go a little something like this:

Transform the Fundaments,
Cause I'm the President.
And the Good Lord knows that I am
Heeeeaaaaven-Sent.

Great Tunes: Obama Man - Greg Morton

Greg Morton is undoubtedly one of the great comedians currently working today. I've seen him probably half a dozen times and he is clean and always funny. Here, he's showing his racist side and criticizing The Won.




And, as a bonus, I'll include what I consider the Greatest of his Greatest Hits: Star Wars In 60 Seconds.

Great Tunes: Girlfriend in a Coma

No, not the Smiths' version: the Mojo Nixon version, which makes this the only Smiths song I've ever heard with becoming nauseous.

I decided to give it my own twist, though, of course.

"President in a Coma"

President in a Coma
Can't he be serious?
President in a Coma
Must be delirious.

Great Tunes:Jerry was a Race Car Driver

I was looking for something diff'ernt to listen to the other day and lit upon an old Primus CD. I think that qualifies as not just diff'ernt, but downright bizarre. Anyway, I was struck by the fac that "Jerry" rhymes with "Barry," and thus this abomination was born.

I call it "Barry was a Guv'mint Leader." Although it's kind of a stretch to say he actually leads anything, even from behind.

"Barry was a Guv'mint Leader"

Barry was a guv'mint leader,
Spent so dadgum fast,
Never did count all the money he spent,
Cause he thought it would always last.

Great Tunes: Right Wing Pigeons

It's no secret that I love music, and it's only slightly less well known that I love punk music. The biggest problem is that most punk tends toward the left side of the political spectrum. (And don't tell me the F.U.s are right-wing, because they're not.) I have decided to rectify this situation by appropriating some of my favorites and changing the lyrics to reflect a more realistic and enlightened world view.

 I have a modest example here. I am calling it Left Wing Pigeons, because I am stealing the tune to The Dead Milkmen's "Right Wing Pigeons" and giving it better lyrics. Fight the Power!

Great Tunes: I Don't Know

The recent spate of scandals in Washington has inspired me. Hence, I will inflict upon you my own lyrics to one of the true classics of metal, Ozzy's I Don't Know, as sung by various figures of Scandalpalooza. Or is it Scandalrama? Scandalgate? Typical democRat politics?

Eric Holder:

People look to me and say,
"Why did you have to bug the AP, eh?
And what about that Rosen guy?
Did you really think that he's a spy?"