Twenty Dollars Worth of Shame

So, I heard the other day that they are going to put Harriett Tubman on the twenty dollar bill, which seems on the surface to be a pretty good trade:

A gun-toting Republican Black Woman in place of a White, racist, democRat slaveholder.

But then I found out a disturbing fact: Harriet Tubman was a NARCOLEPTIC!

Now, I don't even know what that is, but I'm fairly certain it's not something we want our children emulating.

DO WE REALLY WANT A COUNTRY FULL OF YOUNG NARCOLEPTICS?

Try again, democRats.

NO NARCOLEPTICS ON OUR MONEY!

Islamic State to Disband in Wake of SUPCO Gay Marriage Ruling

In a stunning move, a coalition of Islamic State leaders has agreed to relinquish the group’s goal of establishing a worldwide Islamic caliphate, and has announced a plan to dissolve the movement.

IS leaders say the impetus behind this revolutionary transformation was the United States Supreme Court’s recent ruling requiring states to recognize marriages between same-sex couples.

IS spokesman Abu Muhammad al-Adnani, in a rare video appearance released by Al Arabiya said, “This development has sincerely moved us. Seeing the recent joyous celebrations in America has changed our worldview entirely.” Sporting a rainbow-striped taqiyah, al-Adnani contritely lamented, “How silly we have been to take the Koran literally, and try to bring the judgment of Allah over all the earth.”

Letting My Inner Anger Flow: UPDATED

I have to say, I'm pig-bitin' mad, and I feel the need coming on to channel one of my heroes, Opinion Columnist for the Only Paper That Matters, Ed Anger. And maybe throw a little Emily Litella in there, as well. For good measure.

I just heard what today is, and I'm hotter than a habanero rammed up the Human Torch's back end. I mean, I don't care what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom, for Pete's sake! But why do I have to have all that stuff pushed up under my nose, flaunted out in public, and all.

I mean, it's getting to where a guy can't even go out to a bar anymore without a whole passel of 'em wanting to have a grab at his manly parts and that ain't right.

And don't get me started about the parades. And the "Street Fairs." Some things are meant to stay behind closed doors, if they have to exist at all, but there they are paraded out on the street where everybody can see them, including little babies and delicate ladies. That ain't right.

It's not like anyone is trying to stop the "activities," but what they want is not acceptance or tolerance: They want approval and I'll be dad-gummed if I'm going to give it to 'em.

And now they want a whole day to celebrate their "differences," and make us all think they're "normal," and it just so happens to fall on the Lord's Day this year, and that's got me madder than a rabid dog and a rabid bat and a rabid raccoon all bitin' each other and gettin' each other even more rabid.

Plus, the NAME they give it. I thought we weren't supposed to use that word. They tell us it's offensive and I'm sick of this "Only we can use that word, it's OUR word," garbage. Double standards suck. And what's good for the goose should be good for the, well, other goose.

It's DISGUSTIN'.

And that's all I have to say about that.

UPDATE: I've just been informed that today is actually National American FLAG Day. So, just like, you know, never mind.

MontanaFair Bans Cowboy Hats

Just months after neighboring state Wyoming’s change in its dress code for highway patrol officers, prohibiting troopers from wearing cowboy hats and cowboy boots while on duty, a popular annual event in Montana is banning cowboy hats. Citing safety concerns, MontanaFair board members in Billings last week voted 3-2 to prohibit the wearing of the traditional western headgear by fairgoers, participants, vendors, and employees. Other types of close-fitting hats, such as ball caps, will not be restricted.

Classic Nuke: Redisplay of Controversial Photo Sparks Riots, Vandalism

This was first posted over two years ago, but in light of recent events, I thought it deserved a resurrection (pun maybe intended).

In fact, considering the AP just pulled sales of this photo, I think it;s more prescient than ever, if I do say so myself (which I do!). Perhap it's time Christian started acting like spoiled four-year-olds at the slightest provocation, real or  imagined. What could it hurt, except liberal feelings?

[Trigger Warning: This is SATIRE. If you have no sense of humor you will not like this. If you hink it is disrespectful, you might consider  who the actual target of that disrespect is.]

NEW YORK, NY (NPN) - After nearly a quarter century, the photo "Piss Christ" by Andres Serrano is still a source of controversy among fundamentalist Christians. The artwork, which is once again on display in Manhattan, has sparked rioting in cities around the world, as well as vandalism, including an attempt on  the photo itself. 

In Manhattan streets, rioters made their way from the gallery on West 57th Street to Turtle Bay, where they stood in Dag Hammarskjold Plaza, waving signs and burning the flag of the United Nations. "Death to Azerbaijan!" shouted one protestor, while others called for the beheading of nonbelievers.

ObamaCrash!

Well, the “Buzz in the Beltway” is all about how Republican Darrel Issa lost his temper during a recent House Oversight Committee hearing.  For background on the issue, please recall that four years ago, amidst much distracting fanfare, a little bill was passed by Congressional Democrats* in the dead of night and signed by the President, establishing the ALA, commonly referred to as ObamaLift, as one of the current laws of the land. (Hashtag: #DefyingGravity)