Pushing Back

So there's been a trend over the last few years that most people should be concerned with, namely the way social media outlets have begun to censor their users. From Twitter banning Milo Yiannopoulos to the way Youtube has been demonetizing and otherwise burying content from users covering "controversial" topics. Google is just as guilty of it in some cases, but as a platform is so ubiquitous and sees such heavy traffic that they are too big a sandbox to be policed as effectively.

By the Power of #HASHTAG!!

Looks like ISIS is slowly hacking and slashing (also burning) their way through the Middle East and Northern Africa, so it's time for everybody's favorite Nobel Peace Prize Laureate to fo something to bring light to the world.

Yep, it's time for more hashtags for peace. With a few sternly worded tweets, I bet we can finally have that world peace we've been longing for.

To quote the famous philosopher Bullwinkle J. Moose: "This time for SURE!!"

Having come into unauthorized possession of the first photos from this historic occurrence, I feel duty bound to share them with you.

Let's start right at the top, with the Anointed One using the power of the Bully Pulpit.

Certainly THIS will change hearts and minds

#BrianWilliamsMisremembers

Hilarity ensued recently on twitter, as many decided to help Brian Williams' memory about the amazing things he has done in the past.

Naturally, I felt the need to join in. Here are a few of my very own. Feel free to add yours!

So I asked tough questions and made sure Obama was more thoroughly vetted than any presidential candidate ever #BrianWilliamsMisremembers
— arik matthews (@arik1969) February 5, 2015

I remember yesterday, walking hand in hand, Love letters in the snow... #BrianWilliamsMisremembers You
— arik matthews (@arik1969) February 5, 2015

The Book of Love? Yeah, I wrote that. #BrianWilliamsMisremembers
— arik matthews (@arik1969) February 5, 2015

No Justice, No Peas

Clayton, Missouri high school students staged a “die-in” and walkout Monday in solidarity with zombies, or something.

Either that, or it was a cover story to hide the cumulative effects of consuming Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunches.

The Most Accurate Pie Chart Ever

This was just too funny. I figure there's a math geek or an engineer out there somewhere who will enjoy it:

Thanksgiving tradition: the greatest pie chart ever (by @tongodeon) pic.twitter.com/cx8cxJIr8D
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 27, 2014

Cheap Advice

If you buy your spouse Obamacare for Christmas, your significant other may not be the one needing the health insurance.

Once Again, Burge Wins the Internet

LOL at all those Latin American immigrants who came here to escape tinpot dictatorships.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 20, 2014

Putting the Squeeze on Us

"I still consider this the best job on Earth.," says POTUS, and will "try to squeeze (out) every last ounce of possibility" in last 2 yrs.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 9, 2014

 I hope he at least flushes afterward.

When You've Lost the French...

So, el Presidente was at the D-Day commemoration ceremonies yesterday. I didn't hear much of what he said, but in the small portion that I DID hear. he somehow avoided mentioning how all those men died so that one day, he could be elected president. Amazing, I know.

On the other hand, it still managed to turn into something all about him. See, he got chewing gum. Chomping gum, really. And the French were appalled. APPALLED I tell you. They lit up up Twitter with expressions of outrage.

Here are some examples:

Obama, didn't your mother ever teach you not to chew gum when you're on TV?

 I find Obama much too happy for the occasion, and he's annoying me with his gum.

 The "Obama beach;" say hello to America's "chewing gum" strategy for beating the Russians.

Of course, these are translated. In the original French, they sound much more romantic.

Dude, when you're a socialist and you've lost the French...#SmartPower

Hashtag Mania

Buzzfee has a list of Great Moments in American History and how they could only have been better if prior generations had been able to employ the power of #hashtag.

Pretty funny until you realize that Twitter is pretty much the only weapon left in this impotent administration's dwindling bag of trick.

How to Make a Liberal Cry

#HowToMakeALiberalCrySay U poked a baby seal in the eye. And when they cry, comfort them by saying somewhere some1s getting an abortion :|
— Shaughn (@Shaughn_A) March 23, 2013

#HowToMakeALiberalCry shoot their unicorn with an assault rifle.
— Mallory (@MalloryGuinan) March 23, 2013

My own after the break:

If I Twittered...

...this is what I'd Tweet:

Do we really have such a shortage of halfwits in the country that we need to import them from England? #Piers Morgan